things I do / stuff I like
Here’s a quick look back of my 2018 100 Day Project.
If you’ve got a copy of PhotoShop (or GIMP) and want a peek behind the scenes, the layered PSD files for all 100 are now available to view and download on Dropbox, along with an extra folder containing almost 50 duds, rejects, or otherwise unfinished pieces. Enjoy!
Ladies and gentlemen: I give you my final crapsterpiece. My magnum doofus. My pièce-of-shit de résistance. Thanks to everyone who followed and enjoyed these, and extra thanks to my friend and colleague Tess Evans for introducing me to The 100 Day Project and encouraging (forcing) me to do this very rewarding (arduous) project.
@wkyirqi | The 100 Day Project
If there’s one thing I simply can’t tolerate, it’s when assholes slap their nonsense on a building and completely ruin its aesthetic. This type of juvenile defacement needs to stop! Thankfully, I was able to erase all of the offensive language from the front of this otherwise fine hotel.
Would someone kindly get that big pile of garbage off the stage? He’s blocking my view of the scrap metal.
“This correction will run its course until the middle of the year. Then things will pick up again, because not even Greenspan can stop the Internet economy.”—Larry Kudlow, February 2000
Choke: To lose one’s composure and fail to perform effectively in a critical situation.
Oh say can you see? Because I can and, let me tell you, it’s not a pretty sight.
I’m not running out of ideas. You’re running out of ideas. Your stupid face is running out of ideas.
You gotta hand it to them, this administration really lives by the Golden Rule: whoever has the gold, rules.
I’ve been working with Photoshop for a good 25 years, yet it’s never felt so cathartic as it does right now.
My Spanish is embarrassingly bad, but I believe the word I’m looking for here is peinabombillas?
075/100: Pet waste contains harmful bacteria and parasites that make people and pets sick. When it is left outside, pet waste can be tracked into homes and cars or washed into our streams and rivers.
DOEE provides technical support and assistance with education on the environmental impacts of pet waste in coordination with the Mayor’s Office of the Clean City, which leads the District’s response to pet waste issues.
Report: Pet waste complaints should be submitted to DC 311. The online form can be found at 311.dc.gov under All Service Requests > Pet Waste. Residents can also submit complaints by phone by dialing 3-1-1. This information is used to identify hotspots to target for outreach and education.
Not surprisingly, erasing these two shitheads doesn’t really get old.
If we’re being completely honest here, it wasn’t a great tattoo to begin with. It’s much better now, though.
It is a tale, told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
Now our country’s racist more than ever,
Know that we only have each other,
F that guy under the umbrella,
F that guy under the umbrella, ella, ella, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh
I don’t know who this is, but clearly she’s someone who is qualified to be a top advisor to the President of the United States of America.
Interestingly enough, the verb tromper in French (conjugated as trompe in the second person imperative) means to deceive, delude or hoodwink.
So just as trompe-l’œil means to “deceive the eye,” trompe le monde means “deceive the world.”
Trump said on Morning Joe that Putin was a better leader than Obama, and dismissed Joe Scarborough’s allegations that the Russian president “kills journalists that don’t agree with him.”
“He’s running his country and at least he’s a leader, unlike what we have in this country,” Trump said.
“I think our country does plenty of killing also, Joe, so you know. There’s a lot of stupidity going on in the world right now, a lot of killing going on, a lot of stupidity.”
No one knows what it’s like…to be hated…to be fated…to telling only lies…
No one knows what it’s like…to be the bad man…to be the sad man…behind blue eyes…and yellow hair…and orange skin…
MFW I get that fifth draft deferment and can’t serve in Vietnam because of my debilitating bone spurs. 🙁
That time our feckless leader visited the “president of the Virgin Islands.”
No president could do a better job running our foreign policy than this president. Literally no president.
“I pledge allegiance,
Two Corinthians,
Many people saying.
And to Democrat Robert Mueller,
Collusion is FAKE NEWS!
Failing Jesus is a pathetic low-energy loser. SAD!
I like saviors who weren’t crucified.
Amen.”
Listen—between the shirt and the pants, I have no idea what’s going on in this picture. But apparently I’m 11 years old, so I think it’s funny.
“My fellow Americans…going forward, my administration will not be honoring any treaties or agreements that were signed in black ink. IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. WINK.”
Two-fer Tuesday! Buy one acute case of stage-4 dementia, get a second case free!
At first I wasn’t sure which of Trump’s three disposable-3D-baby-printers to get rid of, but then suddenly it become quite clear that this latest mail-order model would Be Best. Happy Mother’s Day, everybody!
LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT’S NORMALIZING A JINGOIST DEMAGOGUE BAG OF HOT GARBAGE!
An enthusiastic Aunt raises her arm in support for the next Great Leader of Gilead.
Pay no attention to that man in front of the curtain—he’s just a sad old man, desperately pretending to be a great and powerful wizard.
“Can you believe that,with all of the problems and difficulties facing the U.S., President Obama spent the day playing golf.Worse than Carter”
The 27 times Donald Trump tweeted about Barack Obama playing golf too much
You wouldn’t think the most disgusting person in the could make a very drinkable, delicious, reasonably-priced. wine. And you’d be correct.
When the United States sends its person, we’re not sending our best. We’re not sending you. We’re sending criminal. We’re sending rapist. And none of him, I assume, is a good person.
While it’s true that blue and orange are complementary colors, you can’t take a lovely, vibrant blue like this and throw on any tacky, old, unappealing orange you find lying around. Not every disgusting, unnatural shade of orange belongs there, because not every orange is fit for the job—in fact, I’m sure that you’ll all agree that some oranges are staggeringly unfit.
What I’m trying to emphasize here, class, is that color is critical facet of visual design, so perhaps we should start taking the selection of a given palette a little more seriously and stop slathering on the first disgusting shade of burnt baby-diarrhea that rears it’s ugly, ugly head.
“I can be more presidential than anybody.”
Pardon me, did anyone see a disgusting old pile of yellow plastic easter grass? I know I left it around here somewhere…
“Don, you ignorant slut. Bagged-out, dried-up, slunken meat like you and Mike Pence know the rules…”
If you think the after picture looks like he’s holding a dick, you should see the before picture.
“Hey! Somebody horked our senile, xenophobic president!”
“Geez, who’d want to hork our misogynist, sexual predator president, eh?”
Congrats, everyone—we made it to 21!
Time to celebrate by knocking back a few ice-cold glasses of VODKA™ brand vodka.
Don’t settle for brown, lazy, shithole liquors like rum or tequila, reach for the crisp, clean, completely colorless beverage you really feel like you can trust around your beautiful white daughters.
Donald Trump: Not a Jew. But guess who is! Hall of famer Rod Carew (he actually isn’t).
Own property in midtown Manhattan? Increase the beauty and value of your investment instantly with my new quick and easy one-step process!
I went ahead and took out that big bag of garbage that was blocking your view of the president.
“This guy is not normal. I’m telling you—did you see his eyes? He’s got crazy eyes. He’s a lunatic. I’m telling you, we are going into the wilderness being lead by a lunatic. He’s behind me, isn’t he?”
“There are people who wish I wouldn’t refer to China as our enemy. But that’s exactly what they are. They have destroyed entire industries by utilizing low-wage workers, cost us tens of thousands of jobs, spied on our businesses, stolen our technology, and have manipulated and devalued their currency, which makes importing our goods more expensive—and sometimes, impossible.”—Nobody
@wkyirqi | The 100 Day Project
@wkyirqi | The 100 Day Project
Hi honey, it’s me.
On your way home from work, could you please stop at THE SHARPER IMAGE™ and pick up some steaks for dinner? You remember—that store that sells overpriced electronic gadgets?
Yeah, the retail establishment that sells glorified, as-seen-on-tv garbage to affluent men caught in the throes of a midlife crisis, desperately clinging to youth and relevance while still scratching upward for the social status they think comes with paying way too much for crap they don’t need?
Yep, and get this, the steaks are even named after that racist real estate manbaby with the big mouth and the twelve trophy wives. The one who looks like an angry scarecrow stuffed with crumpled-up issues of Maxim and VHS tapes of Girls Gone Wild instead of straw?
Well sure they do—they carry both electronic heated massage chairs AND the dead flesh of commercially slaughtered bovines. You know, vacuum-packed cuts of beef that finally answer the question “what’s the food equivalent of a $1000 nose hair trimmer that stops working in two weeks?”
Well, yeah, I’d assume they have a fridge on the premises. I mean, they can’t just leave raw steaks sitting out on a shelf between the clickity-clack swinging desk ball thingies and the world’s best aromatherapy digital alarm clock.
Anyway, I’ll pick up the kids from school if you could just please just stop by the mall on your way home and ask the comically-bored teenager at the information booth where you can find a defunct retail chain that sells both a $200 zen rock garden with a tiny little wooden rake and USDA Choice porterhouse steaks named after a handsy trustafarian who’s got a boner for his own daughter and is also somehow the President of the United States of America.
Okay, see you soon. Love you, bye!
