Dearest Geoff,

I really appreciate the very generous 50% discount offer you extended and, as one might expect, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking and praying on this important issue over the past few days. Here’s the decision I have reached:

I would ask that you please to refer back to Section 107 of the US Copyright Act I mentioned in my previous email which describes fair use exceptions to copyright claims, particularly as it pertains to satire and criticism. Now then, if you would be so kind, please print out that page and laminate it so stays nice and stiff and doesn’t start to break down too quickly. Now, take that laminated sheet and roll it up into a reeeeeally tight, rigid tube, and then vigorously insert it right up your smarmy fraudster ass, you repugnant copyright troll.

Since you make your despicable living bottom-feeding off artists and bloggers who don’t know their rights and are scared by the bullshit legal-ese scam you’ve put together here, you’ve inspired me to register I’m just going to point it toward my aforementioned photoshop project for now, but I’m eager to compile enough scam emails from you to launch a new site dedicated entirely you and your slimy organization.

So please write back soon, and write back often—your adoring public awaits, you semi-sentient slug. I look forward to receiving my forthcoming 75% discount offer.

Hugs, kisses, and a big ol’ pox on your whole motherfucking house,

Ziad Ezzat
Webmaster, Founder & CEO