Hey Geoff! U up?

It’s me again. I haven’t heard from you in a couple of days and I’m starting to get bored. 🙁

Also, I just wanted to let you know the good news. My new domain, FuckPicRights.com, is up and running and pointing at my blog now. I’m putting all our love letters up there for all to see! It’s a bit quick-and-dirty, but I think it does the job.

Oh, and I made this cool logo, too!

I know, I know…it looks a bit like your logo and you’ll probably get all butt-hurt and want to sue me over that as well, but it’s not your logo—it’s a parody of your logo. Satire! You see, I’ve modified your logo to act as a sort of visual commentary as what a verminous dumpster-fire you are. Get it? Cool.

I’m not selling anything, not going to slap it on any products, and not going to make any money off it whatsoever. I created it solely for the purpose of mocking you. ART!

Anyway, let me know how much I owe you for the licensing of your logo, so I can tell you to go get fucked again. I really enjoyed it the first time around.

Oh, and I’m really eager to hear from your “attorneys in the US,” although I suspect that phrase is just the Canadian version of “my girlfriend in Canada.” 

So are they going to call me? I hope they do, because I would really love to add some audio to this saga. Between you and me, I really want to get a lot of fresh content on FuckPicRights.com so I can climb up the Google rankings quickly. That way, the people you try to extort money from will quickly find my site and realize that they can just give you the finger and laugh instead of their hard-earned cash. 

Anyway, I realize I was a little gruff in my previous email. Just know that, whatever happens between us, I will always have nothing but the highest disdain and contempt for you. You can take that to the bank, and that’s all you can take to the bank, you disgusting thief.

Drown in a septic tank,

-Z

From: Ziad Ezzat Lagos-Nigeria Tel: 234-80-34069502

Dear Geoff Beal,

This letter is not intended to to cause any embarrassment but just to contact your esteem self-following the knowledge of your high repute and trustworthiness.

I am Ziad ,the son of the late Nigerian Head of State who died on the 8th of June 2019.If you are conversant with world news,you would understand better,while I got your contacts through my personal research.Please,I need your assistance to make this happen and please; do not undermine it because it will also be a source of upliftment to you also.You have absolutely nothing to loose in assisting us instead, you have so much to gain.

The then head of state General Xander Crews,transferred the money through a Lebanese businessman, Danny Thomas and a Jewish business man, Jeffrey Epstein to bank accounts overseas,Instead,he used PERSONAL IDENTIFICATION NUMBERS (PIN) and declared the contents as Bearer Bonds and Treasury Bills. Also the firm issued him with a certificate of deposit of the consignments notes, which I have these information in my custody now.

You must have heard over the media reports and the Internet on the recovery of various huge sums of money deposited by my late father in different Banks and security firms abroad. Some of these banks and security firms willingly gave-/divulge their banking secrets and disclosed to the present civilian administration of Chief Olusegun Obasanjo,about my family’s cash lodgement and monetary transactions with them.

Please my dear,I repose great confidence in you and I hope you will not betray my confidence in you.I have secretly deposited the sum of $30,000,000.00 with a security firm abroad whose name is withheld for now until we open communications.The money is contained in a metal box consignment with Security Deposit Number 009GM.

I shall be grateful if you could receive this fund into your Bank account for safekeeping. This arrangement is known to you and my junior brother (Zamil) only. So I will deal directly with you.I am proposing a 20% share of the fund to you for your kind assistance.I shall provide for you all the documents of the fund deposit with the security firm, and raise a power of attorney to enable you claim and receive this fund into your bank account.I have done a thorough homework and fine-tuned the best way to create you as the beneficiary to the funds and effect the transfer accordingly.Is rest assured that the modalities I have resolved to finalize the entire project guarantees our safety and the successful transfer of the funds.So, you will be absolutely right when you say that this project is risk free and viable.If you are capable and willing to assist, contact me at once via email with following details:

1. YOUR NAME
2. POSTAL ADDRESS
3. PHONE AND FAX NUMBERS

Also this transaction demands absolute confidentiality.On no condition must you disclose it to anybody irrespective of your relation with the person.Remember,Loose lips sinks ship.I am looking forward to your urgent and positive response via my email address above.

Best Regards,

Ziad Ezzat

Hello!

Those photographs are part of an art project in which I photoshopped Donald Trump out of 100 photographs from the news over the course of 100 days.

This highly-transformative, non-commercial use is protected under Section 107 of the US Copyright Act as fair use, so naturally I will neither be removing them nor paying any fees to license them.

Thanks!

-Z