Day 021 of The 100 Day Project: #100fewertrumps

Congrats, everyone—we made it to 21!

Time to celebrate by knocking back a few ice-cold glasses of VODKA™ brand vodka.

Don’t settle for brown, lazy, shithole liquors like rum or tequila, reach for the crisp, clean, completely colorless beverage you really feel like you can trust around your beautiful white daughters.

@wkyirqi

Letter, Oh We Get Letters

Okay, time for some viewer mail. Gosh, where do I start? Okay—I get this question so often, I figure it’s time I answered it once and for all:

Dear Ziad,

You are so cool and smart and fun and awesome, you must have a ton of celebrity friends, right? It seems only natural that other really attractive, successful people would want to flock to you. Birds of a feather, amirite? Yeah, I’m right. I knew it.

Sincerely,

SUPERMODEL NAME REDACTED

 

Well, yeah—ya got me, anonymous fan. Guilty as charged!

Talented people like me tend to have a lot of friends who are also quite rich and intelligent and good looking and rich. Here are just a few of those dear friends and colleagues who’ve endorsed me both personally and professionally over the course of my storied career and our deep, deep friendships:

The Man in Black
The Rev. Sir Dr. Stephen T. Mos Def Colbert D.F.A., Heavyweight Champion of the World
R-Dawg
Jimmy C
Ruff-Daddy
Good Ol’ Dave
Renegade
Renaissance
Queen B
Beebz